Everything Pales in Comparision Read online

  Her eyes flew open to take in a slender figure wearing scrubs. She looked up into the compassionate face of her night nurse. Attempting to affect a casual air, she tried to say, “Oh, sure”, but what came out was hardly recognizable as anything other than a strangulated croak. Gagging suddenly as her throat constricted, she effectively distracted herself from the scenario beyond her, but was now in her own little panic. Immediately, her nurse was uttering soothing words, cutting through her fear and focusing her, as she quickly raised the motorized bed up to a forty-five degree angle. Hit with a wave of nausea, Daina paled and clutched at the blankets. The nurse offered her water, which she managed to sip through a straw. Her stomach spasmed and the nurse reached for a kidney-shaped basin. Almost immediately, the ill feeling passed and Daina waved the proffered basin away.

  “Good Lord,” she muttered wearily.

  “Sorry about that,” the nurse commiserated.

  Daina sipped at the water, eyes closed, while the nurse puttered around her bed. Remembering the scene she had woken to, she cracked her eyes open. She was grateful to see the curtains across the way were now drawn.

  The nurse noticed the look and said, “Not a pleasant thing to wake up to, I know. How are you feeling, any pain?”

  Daina took stock of herself, discovering the pain to be tolerable, but still bothered by the disturbing image of the recent activity she’d witnessed.

  “The pain’s not bad,” she said slowly. With a slight frown, she asked, “What time is it?”

  The nurse checked her watch. “Almost three thirty in the morning. Do you think you can get back to sleep or would you like a sedative?”

  “If it’s not too much trouble—” Daina began, knowing she would never get back to sleep on her own.

  “No problem at all,” her nurse said, giving Daina’s leg a gentle pat. “I’ll be right back.”

  When she next woke up, it was to the ordinary bustle of the unit’s morning activities. Blearily blinking her eyes, she shifted ever so carefully, feeling stiff and sore. She had been cautioned against moving too vigorously, due to the still-attached leads from the monitors, but she thought it an unnecessary warning. Moving vigorously was hardly in her repertoire at the moment.

  With her new sitting position, though, she found her view much improved. She saw right off that the bed which had been occupied across the room, and which had been the site of last night’s activity, was empty. Feeling as if a lead ball had just dropped in her stomach, she swallowed hard and looked away. She saw a nurse coming toward her, the day nurse this time, and she locked onto her, willing the memory of last night’s crisis from her mind.

  “Good morning, Daina. How are you feeling this morning?”

  Clearing her throat, Daina ventured carefully, “Not too bad.” She was pleased to find her voice in better working order. “A bit stiff and sore,” she added, “but pretty good, otherwise.”

  “Excellent!” The nurse, Shelley Montgomery according to her name tag, beamed. She was tall and somewhat large, dark haired, and beautiful in an unadorned way. Her smile lit up her entire face. “That’s what we like to hear.” Looking over the monitors, she asked, “Are you feeling up to something more substantial than Jell-O for breakfast? You can probably tolerate it, considering how well you’re doing. I think we could probably even get you out of that bed today for a while, get the ball rolling, so to speak.”

  “Sure, I guess.” Daina smiled tentatively, not quite sure what was meant by “get the ball rolling.”

  “We’ll take some more blood this morning and do another workup,” Shelley continued conversationally. “Plus, we’ll get you off that catheter, make sure everything is working the way it should.” She gave Daina a warm smile. “If everything is fine, I think today we might get you transferred from here to another ward.”

  “Oh. Wow.” Daina tried not to sound too surprised. “Great.”

  “Not until this afternoon, sometime,” the nurse said, with a quick glance at her. “We don’t want to rush anything, but you’re doing very well.”

  Daina was pleased. After last night, she had begun to feel vulnerable and almost depressed, feelings which were alien to her. She’d always thought she was a strong-minded, forward-looking individual; she found her current situation not terribly conducive to happy thoughts. The thought of the transfer relieved her greatly. She had been less than five days in the hospital, but already she was beginning to feel restless and edgy. The sooner her circumstances improved, the better.

  It was going on nine A.M. by the time the tasks that needed to be done were complete. She now had the option of self-administering her medication with a patient-controlled analgesic, through her own IV drip. By the time her parents showed up, she was feeling stronger and much more herself.

  She had been moved to a chair beside the bed, but it was far from an ideal setup. With the IV in her right hand, her left arm in a sling, and her entire left side feeling hot and itchy from the surgery and sutures, she hugged her parents awkwardly.

  “You’re up!” her mother exclaimed happily.

  “Yeah, Ma,” she said with a rueful grin. “It’s all part of their plan to get me out of here.”

  “And then we get to deal with you,” her father said with a wink. He was a tall man, just over six feet, but his shoulders were slightly stooped, as if he’d never adjusted to his height. He had a shock of wavy blond hair, wide-set brown eyes that radiated a strong warmth, and an easy, disarming smile.

  “Isn’t it still a bit early, dear?” Marlene Buchanan’s concern was obvious.

  “Well, Ma, I don’t know.” Daina tried not to sound exasperated. “I assume they know what they’re doing. Try not to worry, okay? Hey, how did it go with those phone calls you were going to make? Did you happen to get hold of Kendra? That’s something I’m worried about.”

  “And you should be worried,” her mother said sternly. “I wasn’t able to get hold of her, but I left a message on her voice mail to return my call, for all the good that will do.” With a frown, Marlene asked, “She’s not going to run off with your money or anything, is she?”

  Daina had to chuckle. “Ma, I haven’t got any money for her to run off with, or anything else of any use to her. So whatever else is going on, I sort of doubt it’s that.”

  “Do you know what might be going on, Daina?” Steve Buchanan asked quietly.

  “No, Dad, I don’t,” she replied tiredly. Sitting up was already beginning to wear on her. “I’d like to think it isn’t anything too serious, but regardless, I’ll deal with it, okay?” She gave her mother a pointed look. “Don’t worry so much, Ma.”

  “Oh, Daina,” her mother sighed, her exasperation clear.

  Daina shifted her position slightly and winced. “Oh, hey, were you able to get in touch with that police officer?”

  “Oh, my God, yes!” Marlene brightened. “We didn’t talk long, but she sounded so nice. And she was very happy you were recovering and that you weren’t in a coma anymore. She said she could come by today at three, so I’ve cleared it with the nurses and—”

  “Oh, Ma, today?” Daina groaned. “Why today? I said there was no rush—”

  “Oh, hush,” her mother admonished her. “It may as well happen today, you wouldn’t be happy with any day I chose. Besides, she’s on her days off, from what I understand, and right now she has some time.”

  “But I look like hell,” Daina grumbled.

  “You don’t look like hell, and even if you did, I doubt it would matter to her in the least.”

  Daina held onto her poor form for a few moments longer, before finally acquiescing with a heavy sigh. “All right, all right, we’ll do it your way.” In a tone that held a definite hint of long-suffering, she added, “Not that I have any say in it, anyway.”

  “Finally figured that out, have you?” Steve Buchanan sounded amused.

  “Steven!” Her mother gave her father a light slap on the shoulder, which her father made a show of trying to avoid while c
owering in mock fear.

  Daina burst out laughing, her first real laugh in days, but one which she instantly regretted, as the pain it caused was so blinding, her vision actually swam and then grayed. She felt herself flush hot, and then, sickeningly, broke out in a cold sweat. She uttered a single moan, certain she was going to lose her breakfast. A second or two later, she felt strong hands steadying her in her chair, and heard gentle, soothing words in her ear.

  “Easy, just breathe, nice deep breaths, you’re fine…”

  She did as instructed, and after a while was able to open her eyes and focus once more on her surroundings. At her side, Shelley Montgomery reached over and applied a cool, damp cloth to her brow. Daina swallowed, and tried to look at her.

  “Don’t. Just stay still for now.” The nurse’s tone brooked no argument.

  “Is she all right?” Her mother’s voice, extremely concerned.

  Daina couldn’t turn to look for her. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She didn’t know if she was all right or not.

  “She’ll be fine,” Shelley said, with gentle reassurance. “She just has her limits, that’s all. Mr. Buchanan, if you’ll give me a hand, let’s get her back up into bed.”

  Daina was so completely taxed, she was barely any help at all. But she did manage to help them get her into her bed, and Shelley administered a dose of painkiller through the dial on her IV. Daina saw the concerned faces of her parents, and tried to give them a reassuring smile and wave. She had no idea if she succeeded or not. The drug acted swiftly. She was out of commission in no time.

  ***

  She awoke with a start to the sound of her name being called. Shelley, standing at her bedside, smiled warmly as she opened her eyes, and greeted her with a soft, “Hi there.”

  Daina blinked a few times as she focused, and then she yawned. “Hi.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  Daina frowned, considered, then replied, “Fine, I guess.” She grinned crookedly. “I hope you didn’t wake me up just to ask me that.”

  “No, but I will next time, just for that.” The nurse’s warm smile held, as she added, “I woke you for a couple of reasons. First, we’ve received the preliminary results of your blood work and everything looks fine. We’d like to transfer you to a general surgical ward this afternoon. Are you comfortable with that?”

  Again, Daina considered. She gave a very slight shrug. “I suppose. Are the nurses there as nice as you?”

  “No, they’re terrible,” Shelley replied dryly. “I’ve spoiled you, I’m sorry. It’s a failing of mine.”

  Daina’s grin was met with a wink from the nurse, who said, “The other reason I woke you is because you have a visitor in the waiting area that no one has cleared with us.”

  “Oh. Who is it?”

  “She says her name is Kendra Morrow. Apparently she’s your partner…and your manager?”

  Daina felt no surprise, only a vague sort of annoyance. She shook her head. Of course Kendra would feel it necessary to clearly state both positions.

  “You mean she isn’t?”

  “Oh, yes, she is,” Daina hastily stated, realizing her headshake had been misinterpreted. “No one cleared her with you, though, because no one thought she’d show up.”

  “Oh. Well, she did. And she’s a bit PO’d we wouldn’t let her in.”

  “Yeah. She would be.” Daina sighed.

  “So…” Shelley paused. “Did you want to see her?”

  No, truthfully, I really do not, was Daina’s first thought. Quickly followed by, But, of course, I have to. She sagged. “Yeah, I guess I have to.”

  “If you like,” her nurse broached carefully, “I can keep an eye on you while she’s here.”

  “Oh. No.” Daina managed a half-smile. “Thank you, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  When Kendra showed up, it was obvious to Daina, noting the careful tread and wary expression, that Kendra was unsure of her reception. She silently watched her approach the foot of the bed, where she stopped, resting one hand on the metal frame, her briefcase in the other. She wore white slacks, a light blue button-down shirt, and a navy blazer. She appeared a bit pale and haggard, and more than a little tense. She bent to place the briefcase on the floor, then straightened.

  “Daina,” she said guardedly, nodding slightly in greeting.

  “Kendra,” Daina returned, with almost no inflection. “Fancy seeing you here.” She paused a beat, then added, “Figured out pretty quickly why my mother was calling, did you?”

  Kendra lifted her chin, coloring slightly. “Look, don’t start with me,” she said tightly, with hardly a trace of her Southern accent. “I realize I have some explaining to do, and I realize you’re probably not too happy with me right now. But there are things we need to talk about.”

  “Well, at least we’re agreed on that.” Daina’s mild tone was edged with contempt.

  Kendra set her jaw. “If all you’re going to do is try to score points off me—”

  “Oh, please,” Daina interrupted in the same mildly contemptuous voice. “After your sterling behavior, anything I could come up with as a repartee would hardly compare.”

  The comment seemed to bring Kendra up short. Her color deepened, and she glanced sharply away. Then she looked back at her, seemingly collected once more. “You look good, by the way,” she stated, a bit lamely, into the silence.

  “No, I don’t,” Daina countered. “I look like hell and I feel like shit.” She paused, then added rather snidely, “But thanks, anyway.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake,” Kendra finally snapped. “If this is how you’re going to be—”

  “Get to the point, Kendra,” Daina interrupted wearily. “You forfeited your right to respectful behavior a little while back, remember? Hurting your feelings is the least of my concerns at the moment.”

  Kendra blinked, stared at Daina, then bluntly stated, “The tour has been canceled.”

  It was Daina’s turn to stare. “What?”

  “You heard me. It’s been canceled, all of it, all of the North American dates, canceled.”

  Daina felt something lurch inside her. “Why? I don’t understand, we weren’t set to tour again until next month. Why cancel, why not postpone?”

  Kendra frowned. “Daina,” she said slowly, her Southern twang deepening, “next month is only two weeks away. It’s the middle of July. You’re in a hospital bed, in an intensive care unit, fresh out of a coma. I don’t mean to rain on your parade, darlin’, but you ain’t going nowhere for a while, let alone on the road.”

  Realizing for the first time the truth behind those words, Daina fought off a feeling of despair and held tightly to her anger. “Answer my question, why cancel, why not postpone?”

  “Postpone until when, exactly?” Kendra’s frown deepened. “You were comatose, for Christ’s sake. There were no little LED readouts to tell us when you were going to come out of it. We were lucky as it was to give those venues two weeks notice. If we had waited, who knows—?”

  “If you had waited,” Daina practically snarled, “you could have included me in your little discussion.”

  “You think this is just about you?” Kendra narrowed her eyes and her expression hardened. “Daina, there are a hell of a lot more bodies involved here than just yours, alone. Bodies that I became responsible for when—”

  “Wrong, Kendra,” Daina shot back. “Every single one of those contracts was approved by me, which means every single one of those bodies, as you put it, is my responsibility. Not yours to assume. Your responsibilities are determined by me, remember?”

  “Someone had to speak for you,” Kendra countered tightly, flushed, but obviously determined to gain the contested ground.

  “Well, that someone is not and will not be you,” was Daina’s rapid-fire response, “because you are fired.”

  Kendra’s expression of shocked disbelief was almost comical, but Daina didn’t laugh. If at all possible, she was doubly surprised at her
words. But once uttered, she knew she had spoken rightly. Anything else would have been a concession, and the time for making concessions was well over.

  “You can’t fire me,” Kendra said hoarsely, her color very high.

  “I can and I have,” Daina stated flatly. “I have watched you over the months trying to wheedle your way into areas where I don’t want you. And you still keep trying. I’ve had enough, Kendra. I’m ending it, all of it, right now.”

  Kendra’s look sharpened. “What do you mean all of it?”

  And again, before she had even formulated the thought, the words were out of Daina’s mouth. “You, me, all of it, the whole thing, it’s over,” she said shortly. Her head was starting to pound and she was beginning to tire, but she continued doggedly on. “You and I both know there’ve been problems between us for a while now.”

  “So this is how you deal with it? You just end it? What the hell kind of a solution is that?”

  Daina chose to view the question as rhetorical, and so didn’t answer.

  “Daina, don’t you think we should talk about this?” Kendra’s voice was strained. “How can you—?”

  “After the little fiasco you just pulled,” Daina cut in, a dangerous edge to her voice, “I really don’t think we have anything to talk about.”

  “You were in a coma, for God’s sake. What in the hell was I supposed to do?”

  “Anything would have been better than what you did.” Daina’s contempt resounded in the enclosed space, all the more so because her voice was so soft. “I may have been in coma, but I wasn’t dead.”

  Kendra stiffened. Her face became expressionless, as she seemed to realize that whatever entreaties she attempted would be a waste of time. She stared at Daina for a protracted moment, her eyes keen, before saying, “I hope you realize what you’re doing.”

  And Daina, as softly as before, said, “Kendra, I just hope you realize what I’m doing.”

  Kendra’s green eyes flashed. Daina returned the look unflinchingly. Even so, she was thankful when her now ex-partner and ex-manager gathered up her briefcase without a further word, turned, and left, curtains billowing in her wake. Only then did she sag back into her pillow, feeling decidedly ill.